As I mentioned in my FOF post, I am looking forward to getting back into my routine and if you've been following along, you know that AGAIN, I was faced with making a decision of staying home or heading back out to sea for another contract. Ya know, I'm kind of glad this happened because it made me realize just how tired I am of being in this spot all the time.
So, here it is ... I was offered a position on the previous ship I was on with some amazing people and I was actually going to go and was excited for it. BUT, things happen for a reason right? I didn't receive my travel details until 9:30pm the night before I was supposed to leave and they gave me a 7:00am flight. UHM WHAT? I don't think they realize that people have to rearrange their schedules to help take me to the airport, considering we live almost two hours away. Any sort of cab or shuttle cost about 200$ and trying to schedule one last minute like that, wasn't happening. Getting to the airport wasn't going to happen and when I told them that and asked for a simple extension of my sign on date, considering it was their error, I was told no, there was no chance. Gee, thanks for the help. After that little "slap", I stepped back and realized that I was done trying to argue with these people and trying to get anything from them and if I was truly meant to go back out, it would have happened. It sucked, I won't lie, because I knew a lot of people on that ship and was looking forward to going, but I guess it wasn't my time.
After I finished being upset and mad, it felt like a little bit of weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I was tired of always trying to decide whether I wanted to stay or go and now that I have this "clarity", it feels good. Mind you, now I have to seriously look for a full time job at home, but I have my fingers crossed for a great opprotunity that I am hoping will work out. If not, I'll just keep on looking. I'm just looking forward to getting back on track. Eating better than I have been (I'm a stress eater!) and getting back into my gym routine. A lot of things have taken a back seat including my diet and gym going.
I'm looking forward to getting back on track and focusing on the future. Not to mention, that I will be able to spend the Holidays this year at home, which I have missed the last three years. It will be a bit of an adjustment knowing that I won't have "the ship" to fall back on and I will truly miss it and be thankful for my experiences, but as they say ... time to move forward and bring on the future!